People of William & Mary

May 27

Bye Bye for now…

Hey Twampy-Twamps,

We graduated last week! While this was a fairly happy occasion for us, we imagine it was devastating for all of you, as this means that we will no longer be on campus and providing you with random entertainment on our blog. *sad*

But if you want to keep us afloat, send us pictures of all that is unsavory at the College and in turn, we will send you our love and gratitude. And sorry, since we are post-grad humanities majors, gratitude does not come in the form of a check.

We want to leave you with some words of wisdom. Try not to vom, plz. Enjoy the succulent fruits of higher education while you can. The real world comes at you too fast; as soon as you leave the swampy bubble that is Williamsburg, you’re hit with the reality that you studied lit. for 4 years, have a pretty piece of paper to prove it, and realize that in the real world, no one cares that you know all there is to know about Faulkner. So go outside and bathe in the Crim Dell, lollygag in the Sunken Gardens, befriend a squirrel or two, and spend as much time with your friends as possible. They’re the best you’ll ever have.

All Our Love,

The Tribestalkers

May 2

The shorts speak for themselves. To be fair, the guy has a great pair of gams, but those shorts should be burned.

Apr 27

David Attenborough: Here we see the mating ritual of two twamps in their natural habitat, Swem Library. The female, obviously exhausted from studying, takes refuge on the shoulder of the male. The male takes advantage of the situation by strategically placing a comforting arm on her shoulder. Coitus is likely to follow.

Apr 6

Strange Encounters of the 3rd Kind

Campus was crawling with visitors, family members, and, most noticeably, children this past Easter weekend. While we are accustomed to each of these groups on campus on their own, together, it seemed as though foreign takeover was inescapable. Fortunately, Sunday came, and the visitors were forced to flee after two disgruntled seniors took it upon themselves to defend their campus, wielding two broken Andre bottles and a rusty corkscrew (you’re welcome, Twamps). Check out the invaders below:

Dreadlocks styled tie-dye wearing hippie man who we have never seen before. We were mesmerized my his locks.

INVASION OF THE CHILDREN

Children on campus really creep us out. Maybe it’s the little hands…

The invaders frantically running to find Easter eggs. Even stereotypical hippie-man is in on this.

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Apr 4

Have you all noticed that as soon as the weather gets nice, the Sunken Gardens becomes something of a mating ground for twamps? Spring is in the air, reproduction all around, and perhaps we too are unconsciously hearing the call of mother nature, which would explain the display of lady loins this weekend on the Sunken Gardens. While this mating technique may work in the animal kingdom, it kind of screams “desperate” to us. Ladies, we know you want to get your tan on, and that’s your prerogative, but you have to admit, wearing your bikini on the largest public space on campus kind of suggests that you want to be seen, loins and all.

In our opinion, this isn’t the watering hole, so ditch the bikini.

Loooooove,

The TribeStalkers

Mar 31

Sorry to keep calling you out, lady twamps, but your fashion choices are making us more frustrated than a virgin on prom night.

YOU CAN’T WEAR UGG BOOTS WITH JUST ANY ARTICLE OF CLOTHING. SO STOP.

I mean, really, if it were up to us, we would make Uggs a criminal offense, but we’ll be reasonable. Don’t wear your Uggs with shorts. Don’t wear your Uggs with a mini skirt. And please don’t wear Uggs with your neon colored Victoria’s Secret Pink sweats. It’s just offensive at this point.

We only tell you for your own good, ladies.

Love,

The TribeStalkers

Mar 21

What the fuck?

:(

Dear Willow,

We will miss your lovely boughs. We wish we had told you before your untimely death how much you really meant to us. Goodbye, favorite campus tree.

-Your sad TribeStalkers

Dear Lady Twamps,

The weather has been especially lovely this weekend, hasn’t it?

Enjoy skin cancer!

Love,

The TribeStalkers

Mar 17

Leggings as Pants

Normally we like to supplant our criticisms of twamps and campus in general with a photograph, but Spring Break’s festivities have left us somewhat dazed, so we forgot to walk around with our camera yesterday.

But onto the point: Leggings as Pants. Message: DON’T DO IT, LADY TWAMPS. Leggings are not pants. They can never hope to be pants. So respect us and yourselves and put a goddamn tunic or dress over your leggings. You look ridiculous.

We’re only telling you for your own good. Someday, you may thank us.

Your Favorite TribeStalkers

Feb 27

While we were enjoying some spontaneous dancing post-Campus Golf, we came across this sad little thong, left abandoned in the mud. We thought maybe we could submit a slogan for next year’s golf tournament.

“Campus Golf: The most fun you can have with your panties ON”

Now we like a hot pink thong as much as the next person, but we don’t really want to happen upon a dirty one during a philanthropy event. So ladies (or gentlemen), if you feel the need to liberate your loins, please seek shelter in your dorm or an academic building and dispose of underwear appropriately.

Thanks!

Your Favorite TribeStalkers

Dec 14

Also, remember, make tribe choices this week. What Would William & Mary Do?

People of William & Mary

Two students dedicated to revealing all that is unsavory at the College... Submit your own photos at: peopleofwm@gmail.com

Bye Bye for now…

Strange Encounters of the 3rd Kind

Leggings as Pants

Two students dedicated to revealing all that is unsavory at the College...

Submit your own photos at:
peopleofwm@gmail.com